CHARISMATIC cats are dominating our lives. Apparently, watching silly cat videos takes up 15% of YouTube traffic, which doesn't say a fat lot for our intellect but does suggest we are all as soft as grease under our tough exteriors.
Take my lovely neighbour, a real man's man, ex-Boy Scout, likes big cars, a beer or two and chopping wood, that sort of thing. But when his cat, Billy, rubs round his ankles, as cats do, it's "Haalloooo Billy-Bobs". He gently picks him up, nurses him like a baby, tickles his chin and has even made him a cat deckchair.
I have a soft spot for Billy, too, and can't resist feeding him chunks of chicken and ham. I've always loved cats but had to part company with them due to my flea-bite allergy. Even though I bought every flea killer known to man, it didn't seem to stop the little blighters breeding like rabbits.
It was concern about fleas that left one woman hospitalised for six days recently.
Lesley Pleasant decided to de-flea her daughter's cat, Oscar, by giving him a bath. To say he didn't like it is an under statement.
He sank his claws into Lesley's arm, piercing an artery. It was 30 seconds before her daughter could get the claw out.
Result: a potentially life-threatening blood infection which left Lesley in need of emergency treatment.
This tale resonated with me because one of my best buddies recently ended up in hospital thanks to a cat called Lilly, which appears to be terrorising the estate down south where they both happen to live.
I'll let my pal tell the tale by sharing her e-mail but, just as background, I will explain that she is the proud owner of a cute bichon frise dog, a tiny cat-sized pooch which looks like a cross between a miniature poodle and a lamb. Here's what happened to my chum and her dog, Zacky:
"I was just taking Zacky for a walk when this cat shot out of nowhere like a rocket and went for him. I lifted Zacky up on his lead and held him high but she just leapt up at me, savaging me as she tried to get to him. She sank her claws into my legs and bit me – twice!!
"I was screaming and all the neighbours came running out but they couldn't get the cat off me.
"Eventually, some men smothered the cat in a blanket to stop her attacking me. When I got home I was covered in blood and bruises and crying. The scratches were so long and deep I was advised to ring a doctor and, as soon as I explained how deep the cuts and bites were, I was told to go straight to A&E.
"Because of the danger of blood poisoning they gave me tablets the size of torpedoes – and you know how I can't swallow tablets, Jill!"
So beware my friends, not all cats are as innocent as they look and should not, perhaps, be surging to superstar status on YouTube, just for looking cute, or grumpy. Seen grumpy cat?
Nevertheless, I did suggest to my neighbour that he made some YouTube videoes of Billy-Bobs. Famous cats can now demand appearance fees of up to £300. Yes, I watched Star Paws on TV the other day. The lesson in this cat's tale is, choose your feline friends as carefully as your human ones. A ferocious tiger may lie within.
