IF a 14-year-old decides he does not want to go to school, how do you make him?
This is the problem that faces two Derby parents, John and Pam (not their real names) almost daily.
And it led to them being hauled up in front of the city's magistrates, who gave them a conditional discharge for 12 months, together with a £30 victim surcharge and a parenting order for each of them.
"The clock is ticking for us," said a clearly distressed John. "If we can't get Jack (not his real name) to put in a more regular attendance at school, then we'll be back in front of the magistrates and could be sent to prison."
His worries are very real. The Derby Telegraph revealed last month that four parents have been jailed and another five have been given suspended prison sentences in the city during the past 12 months.
John said: "We do everything possible to get our son to school. We are not feckless parents. We both work and have both tried hard to get him to school.
"We have suffered from assaults verbally and mentally. He has stolen hundreds of pounds from us and we've had to involve the police on a couple of occasions due to assaults on his mother.
"We've been told by the police and social services that we aren't allowed to force him out of bed as it's classed as an assault.
"We have attended endless meetings where this is reiterated to us, but then education welfare officers have suggested using a wet flannel on him to get him up.
"We have asked for assistance and taken part in the process to try and get him to school, but Derby City Council still took us to court.
"Our son is being tested for autistic spectrum disorder but, even though we have been asking for help for well over two years, he is still on a 16-month waiting list at the hospital to confirm this."
John said it had taken since he was at infant school to get Jack diagnosed with dyslexia, which finally happened last year.
John said: "I know that some parents can't be bothered, but we do bother and still the council has treated us as a percentage of attendance – a figure on paper – and not an individual case with individual needs.
"Thankfully, the magistrates paid far more attention to what we told them than the education welfare officer ever did. We had hoped the parenting order may give us more sensible strategies to help get our son to school.
"But as we have heard nothing in more than a month since the court case, we are beginning to wonder."
In court, the council produced a series of dates on which Jack was late for, or did not attend, school, resulting in his attendance falling to about 68% to 70% between March and July, when education welfare officers became involved.
A warning letter was sent to the couple in March, despite John explaining the difficulties of getting his son to go to school.
John said: "About this time, Jack's behaviour got worse and we were assaulted by him, resulting in the police being called.
"An officer arrived, handcuffed him and took him out to the car. We had a talk with the policeman and he decided to deal with the situation using restorative disposal. An agreement was reached that Jack would apologise and show an improvement in his behaviour."
The education welfare officer told the court that Jack had given a variety of reasons why he was always late for school, including tiredness, problems with his bike and not liking music on Tuesday mornings.
John said: "The officer tried to give Jack a timetable to stick to, such as getting up at 6.30am and leaving for school by 8am.
"His mother even took to ringing the welfare officer to explain he would not get out of bed."
The family took part in two attendance meetings at Jack's school in April but, despite being told he needed to get out of bed and to his lessons, they made little difference.
Attendance did not improve in May or June and a second warning letter was sent to Jack's parents.
John said: "Trying to get him to bed at night and out of bed in the morning has resulted in fierce arguments between all three of us.
"People will say we are bad parents and judge us from this but, if someone decides to be this difficult, it is almost impossible to deal with.
"Jack is unpredictable and can be violent at times. At others, he can be loving and sit and have a cuddle.
"But the least thing can stress him and result in violence. We have found him stabbing soft toys with a knife and have taken to sleeping with our bedroom door locked.
"The worst thing is that most of the time he doesn't think he has done anything wrong. On other occasions, he points out that, if he doesn't go to school, he can 'get us into trouble'.
"Clearly, something isn't right and we just need help to resolve this situation, but I cannot see how prosecuting us is of any benefit."
In March, the couple saw the NHS community paediatrician, who referred Jack to a clinical psychologist at Royal Derby Hospital.
Suspecting Jack had autism, the paediatrician recommended an urgent appointment should be made.
But the couple received a letter, informing them that Jack was being placed on a 16-month waiting list.
John said: "We had been hoping this could provide the key to Jack's behaviour, which we are at a loss to explain or deal with."
