25 things you'll NEVER hear someone from Derby say

THERE are lots of things it's very rare to hear Derby people say. Here are just a few of them: 1) I am looking forward to the next time Derby County play Nottingham Forest because it is always such a friendly, non-contentious affair. 2) And, when Derby County do play Nottingham Forest, I do hope the Reds win. 3) I live near Nottingham. 4) Where can I buy a bottle of that incredible scent coming from Megaloughton Lane? 5) These city centre parking charges are wonderfully reasonable, let's stay another couple of hours just for the sheer hell of it. 6) No, of course it's not a cob - it's a roll or a bap, obviously!

7) I'm so glad months of disruption caused by the roadworks at Little Eaton roundabout made such a difference to easing congestion there in the morning. 8) Look at that house up for sale in Allestree and that other one in Darley Abbey - both such a bargain! 9) It's nice to see people so warmly dressed in Sadler Gate on this freezing-cold Saturday night. 10) The A52 into Derby was completely clear this morning. 11) I'm hungry but, darn, there's not a takeaway to be found in Nottingham Road, Chaddesden. 12) I always remember to call it the Royal Derby Hospital, instead of the City Hospital, and the iPro Stadium - instead of Pride Park.

13) I wish I could find a McDonalds somewhere in Derby. 14) I think I'll go to a show tonight at the Assembly Rooms. 15) Leaving the Royal Derby Hospital during rush-hour is a breeze. 16) Why would you call me a duck? 17) Let's not meet at the Ram when we go shopping this Saturday. 18) When Westfield was built, I instantly stopped calling it the Eagle Centre. When it became Intu, I instantly stopped calling it Westfield.

19) I think we should have more people carrying out surveys down St Peter's Street. 20) Let me just nip into the toilets at the Spot. 21) I can't believe there aren't any pigeons in the River Gardens today. 22) We could do with some more of those bike pumps in the city centre. 23) I must go shopping and pick up a bargain in Duckworth Square.

24) You can never find a pound shop in Derby. 25) That big screen in the Market Place was a good idea. Have you got any idea for phrases you never hear Derby people say? Send your thoughts to newsdesk@derbytelegraph.co.uk. * Read more of today's top news stories here. Follow us on Facebook and Twitter